im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
