Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
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