your thong is hanging out like whoa
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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