Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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