I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
