She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
