I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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