chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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