i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
