I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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