Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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