Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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