We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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