he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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