Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's blow job season.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
