I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
