I hope mine doesn't look like that
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
