I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
