sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
