so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
