The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
