Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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