No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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