covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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