Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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