No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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