hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
