you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
