I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
