Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
