brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Boobs are out for the taking
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Congratulations! We have a period
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