Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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