so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
