Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
