when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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