is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
