Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
