I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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