I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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