Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
