I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
