just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
