my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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