He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
