If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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