Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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