ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
