There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize