whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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