New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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