You're completely useless in the revolution.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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