just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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