He had one of those small greek statue penises
My pussy is not your playground.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
